Pastoral care supports pastoral leadership
Photograph by Samsung UK via Unsplash
Rev. Margaret Marcuson
Many pastors I have coached say to me, “I feel like I don’t visit enough.” I say, “All pastors feel like they don’t visit enough.” Some love the work of pastoral care, others don’t. But love it or hate it, most pastors feel like they don’t do enough. The immediate pressure of Sunday worship and administrative needs crowd it out.
You’re right: Pastoral connection is important. You may be the senior pastor of a large church or have a visitation pastor on staff. You still have key people you need to attend to when they have a need.
Here’s an aspect of pastoral care we don’t always consider: Effective pastoral care helps you lead the congregation. When people know you will be there when you need them, they will trust your leadership more. Knowing that may help you make a little more room for it.
Pastoral care contacts enhance your position as a leader. Now, pastoral care is valuable for its own sake. You don’t want to view people as simply instrumental to your plans. You don’t respond to a pastoral need just because you need someone’s support. Yet the relationships you develop through pastoral care can shift the way people respond to your leadership.
Leadership is about relationships.
No relationships, no leadership. In larger churches you can’t have a one-to-one relationship with everyone. But they see you doing meaningful work at a funeral. You have a pastoral presence in other settings. And they know you can be trusted.
The relationships you develop through pastoral care can shift the way people respond to your leadership.
Pastors can’t spend extended time with everyone unless they serve a very small church. You have to make choices. Consider these ideas:
Provide pastoral care to key leaders. If time is short (and when isn’t it?), make sure your leaders know you are supporting them. Pay attention in times of crisis and throughout the year.
Don’t ignore your critics. It can be easy to put difficult people at the bottom of the list. Exercise due diligence here. It’s like money in the bank. I know one pastor who didn’t visit her biggest critic's spouse in the hospital. It didn’t help when things blew up. What would it be like to take your worst critic to lunch? You don't even have to talk about church. Some critics can be seen as the “loyal opposition.” They have the potential to become significant allies, if you treat them with respect. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t mean they are an enemy.
Don’t expect yourself to do everything. Ask these questions:
Who is in greatest need?
Who is best visited by me?
To whom and how can I delegate some pastoral care?
Pay attention to time.
Don’t spend too much time with people who always want your attention. It’s easy to spend hours with the neediest members of your church. They have frequent crises. They show up at church without an appointment and expect your attention. They don’t have a good sense of time and may talk to you as long as you’ll talk to them.
Remember: You don’t have to spend as much time with people as they want you to.
Ministry does mean being open to all kinds of people. It means being present with people in crisis. Sometimes you can’t watch the clock; you simply have to be with folks. In a real crisis, you might need to spend hours. But not necessarily. Context matters. Church and community cultures vary. As a young pastor, I found myself spending an hour and a half with some people. These weren’t crises or extra-needy people, simply routine visits. Over time, I realized I could stop in and listen to them for 45 minutes. They still felt like I’d been present. And it gave me more time for other work.
Question to consider: How might pastoral care support your leadership in your context?
Rev. Margaret Marcuson is an American Baptist minister and author of several books: “Leaders Who Last,” “Money and Your Ministry,” and “Sustainable Ministry”(forthcoming).
The views expressed are those of the author and not necessarily those of American Baptist Home Mission Societies.
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