Do things have to fall apart?
Photograph by Mick Haupt via Unsplash
Rev. Margaret Marcuson
I once sat next to an applied mathematician on an airplane. “What’s that?” I thought. He told me he developed mathematical formulas to predict how substances will react under various conditions. I stopped my math education at geometry, so I thought it might be a long plane ride.
Instead, I was fascinated. And I learned something important.
We think things break suddenly. Not necessarily. When something breaks, it is part of a process. Microcracks occur. Then they join together to make macrocracks. Ultimately a fracture occurs. This is more likely to happen under stress (for example, heat). Stress reduces the flexibility of structural materials.
Churches can face a big building issue. A leaky roof. A cracked foundation. And a giant estimate for repairs. Those problems didn’t happen overnight. Engineering suggests we need to pay attention to building maintenance before it becomes a crisis.
However, this is about far more than our physical structures. Cracks don’t just happen in buildings. They also occur in relationships. Those cracks begin somewhere: in a misunderstanding that isn’t cleared up. Or a misstep that is ignored. We are afraid to be honest. We feel the need to be nice. So we let it go — again.
These small relationship fractures are more likely to happen under stress. And who isn’t under stress nowadays? And what church isn’t facing new challenges in today’s context? Churches can ignore some relationship issues for years. But over time, cracked relationships can lead to fracture — a crisis in the church. The board can’t function. The pastor gets fired. There’s a split, creating two congregations with the residue of a painful past to deal with.
Cracks don’t just happen in buildings. They also occur in relationships.
What does this mean for leaders? What do you do?
First, history is important. Learn all you can about the history of your church or other organization. Where might the microcracks have developed and led into macrocracks? You will be less inclined to panic if you can see the bigger picture. For example, a financial crisis doesn’t usually present full-blown overnight. You may find a history of secrecy, reluctance to ask people to give, or even embezzlement.
Second, you can do some damage control at the microcrack stage. Microcracks are less likely to converge into larger cracks, if you can manage yourself well. How do you do that? You define your own position and direction. You stay connected to key people. Small upsets, problems, and setbacks do not necessarily have to spiral out of control. The place of the leader in this process is crucial. The best way to hold things together is to pay attention to yourself first. Keep your finger on your own pulse before worrying about the anxieties and fears of others.
Third, pay attention when the heat is up. Under stress, both you and your followers will be less flexible. What do you notice about how your people react as issues arise? Think of it as research. As stress increases, can you predict where the cracks may show up? What are your own vulnerabilities — particularly those that stem from your own family history? In you, in others, or organizational life? How well can you manage yourself even under stress?
Focusing on yourself and how you manage your thoughts and emotions is not selfish. A calm, centered self is the biggest gift you can give to those around you and to the world at large.
Things fall apart sometimes, and so do people. It’s the nature of reality. When we can learn about the process with curiosity, we will be more able to face the challenges that life and leadership inevitably bring.
Rev. Margaret Marcuson is an American Baptist minister and author of several books: “Leaders Who Last,” “Money and Your Ministry,” and “Sustainable Ministry”(forthcoming).
The views expressed are those of the author and not necessarily those of American Baptist Home Mission Societies.
Get early access to the newest stories from Christian Citizen writers, receive contextual stories which support Christian Citizen content from the world’s top publications and join a community sharing the latest in justice, mercy and faith.