At the private crossroads
Photograph by KaLisa Veer via Unsplash
Rev. Sandra Dorsainvil
Balms of Gilead are poured over pastors and pastors’ spouses who take courageous bold steps to walk the sacred Emmaus Walk of self-care and soul care. Some of you might be wondering what “Balms of Gilead” and “Emmaus Walk” have to do with self-care and soul care. The emotional, spiritual, and physical burdens, challenges, personal quandaries, and vocational opportunities faith leaders have been facing these past few months and years, propel some to seek spiritual companions, therapists, ministry coaches to journey together, and to seek healing. As ministers of the gospel, none of us were sent alone and we were neither sent to conquer the world nor tackle all ailments.
The region of Gilead represented the land where migrants could find sanctuary and safety. Gilead was also known for its lush vegetation, filled with balsam shrubs from which medicinal oil was made and used to treat upper respiratory ailments and skin cuts and wounds. In the book of Jeremiah, we read “I will restore you to health and heal your wounds” (Jeremiah 30:17 NIV). God’s message is one of restoration due to a people group having been considered outcasts. Faith leaders and pastors can feel that way at times. The pastoral journey may be filled with laments like the ones experienced by the two disciples walking the road to Emmaus after Jesus’ crucifixion, as we read in the gospel of Luke chapter 24. Comfort can be found in the song, “Take My Hand, Precious Lord,” Mahalia Jackson’s rendition found here:
There is richness in walking with companions along difficult journeys, as I have learned as one who provides ministry coaching to pastors, faith leaders, and clergy spouses. The solitary and disheartening season many faith leaders find themselves in can feel like a meandering walk in the desert of solitude. Other than God, many faith leaders might wonder whose ears might be willing to listen and honor the authenticity of their transformative faith stories. Leadership coaches are present and ready to listen, to understand, to offer empathy and compassion to the heart stories, while keeping confidentiality held in high regard. We are present to honor what is alive, and to value clients’ full humanity. The light and love of Jesus are seen in one another’s hearts. We are seen at the crossroads of vocational and life’s journeys.
Another element to the coaching sessions is that the ones seeking to be heard set the goals they desire to reach. As coaches we help bring clarity to the how, what, and why of these goals, and support how to best maximize their potential. We raise curious questions to enable answers to surface as we engage in collaborative partnership. The beauty of this culturally sensitive partnership is that it is lived with compassion.
A third element to the process is that coaches provide non-judgmental environments where collaborative conversations happen. No judgments are being whispered for choosing to ask for help. No eyebrows are raised for courageously daring to pause and put the oxygen mask of rest on first, before serving others. Only sentiments of compassion are being expressed as sacred space is held. The psalmist reminds us to “Be at peace and know that I am the Great Spirit of all tribes and nations” (Psalm 46:10 First Nations Version). To be and to stand are invitations into an active observant stillness because greater soulful actions are happening.
The solitary and disheartening season many faith leaders find themselves in can feel like a meandering walk in the desert of solitude. Yet there is richness in walking with companions along difficult journeys.
I urge all colleagues who have broken personal and cultural stigmas to embrace the invitation offered in Psalm 46:10, and to knock at the doors of ministry coaches like me, and to invite us to stand with them in the privacy of their chosen crossroads. We stand shoulder to shoulder where life questions are being faced. What a humble gift it is to be asked to be present during that season of pause.
May you, dear colleagues in ministry, know that you don’t need to stand alone, as you make footprints where God has sent you to serve. May you, ministers of the gospel, be reassured that the good path will be chosen. Your voice will be heard. Your well-worn shoes will find obedience, courage, and perseverance to walk the path.
Let us be nourished by these words from the prophet Isaiah: “The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears; I have not been rebellious; I have not turned away” (Isaiah 50:4-5 NIV). It is with deep humility that I sit with pastors, faith leaders, and clergy spouses who invite me, as their leadership coach, to do so in a season of their lives when hearts need to be held gently and tenderly.
May the poem “Seek,” found in the book of meditations Spirit Wheel written by Steven Charleston, bring us all comfort.
An ordained minister with ABC-USA, Rev. Sandra Dorsainvil serves as a Ministry Coach and Women’s Group Retreat Facilitator with the Center for Career Development & Ministry. Fluent in English and French, she has had cross-cultural lived experiences in several countries in Africa, Europe and North America. Rev. Sandra is a published author of three devotionals, “Walk with Generosity,” “Beacons of Hope” and “Luces de Esperanza,” as well as co-author of a leader’s guide for leaders of short-term mission teams of volunteers, “Short-Term Mission Team Essentials – Together on The Journey.”
The views expressed are those of the author and not necessarily those of American Baptist Home Mission Societies.
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